Sex and McDonald's7:48 AM
Okay so the title was a dirty trick to get you reading but admit it, the title drew you in you little pervy pervs! However you are in luck for this blog is about sex and I am currently in Mickey D’s sooo. Sitting in a McCafe in what could best be described as a Podunk town in
Germany, waiting an interminable amount of time for a bus, I’ve
finally been cornered into writing this rather uncomfortable blog. This is a
blog I’ve been trying to write for a month. It’s not that I don’t feel it needs
to be written. In fact, it very sorely does. The trouble is I’ve been finding
it nearly impossible to turn convictions and deeply rooted thoughts into
narrative or even written form. I’ll start where it all began. Not too long ago
a young couple I hadn’t seen for quite some time approached me at a party.
After the usual small talk, (the pleasure of which is en par to a root canal
for the typical German) they happily pronounced to me that they had just moved
in together. As they stood there waiting expectantly for my hearty
congratulations, I gave them my best dumbfounded beaver smile (you know the one
containing only your two front teeth that the British are so famous for while
trying to smile politely in the midst of extreme discomfiture) compounded by a
nervous cackle the envy of any half crazed hyena. Having no idea what to say, I
quickly changed topics. You see, they were about the third or fourth couple
amongst many I had seen in church leadership who had taken this step.
For some reason, at least in Germland, this has become the norm for Christian couples. I would say it breaks my heart but being of a slightly more frustrated nature, the truth would lie nearer in saying it’s got me hot and bothered. I wasn’t sure why and to my own astonishment when I thought of my stupor in the aforementioned situation, I realized that I hadn’t quite come to grips with my own beliefs and why I felt so strongly that sex should be saved for marriage. As an awkward teeny I had happily sung along with the anthems of the “True Love Waits” movement, forced my indulgent father to buy me a purity ring, and made vows surely no nun could ever keep in regards to my goings on with the opposite sex. I was a staunch little Pharisee in my puritanical pride. After getting a boyfriend, I began to have the slightest bit more empathy for those who didn’t hold out!
Another conversation that shook my counter-cultural roots happened recently after coffee with a new acquaintance. “You’re not one of THOSE girls who waits for marriage to have sex are you?” he asked in exaggeration. Feeling as if I had confessed some sort of highly contagious virus, I took a slight step back. Restoring my dignity, I raised my chin “Yes. Why do you ask?”
Staring at me stunned he questioned “You’re a virgin?” Nodding my ascent (those puritanical roots still a little too deep to be comfortable with the direction of this conversation) he then asked me earnestly why I would do such a thing. Knowing my audience, I answered him that I had never ever met a man who was thrilled by all of the former men his girlfriend had slept with. He gave me a cocky grin as if to say I had won that battle but there were more to come. We could have gone further down the logic trail with facts like the rising divorce statistics of couples who live together before marrying, that no one likes to be compared to a former partner least of all in bed or that on the female side of the situation after living with a man there is very little to induce him into marriage (from a completely manipulative perspective mind you). But if we’re honest, in the heat of the moment, no one in their right mind is adding up figures in their heads.
A lot of people have told me that the Bible is silent on the topic of sex before marriage which is more than a little silly if you’ve ever read it. But this didn’t feel enough for me and I knew in my case, that in the future these things would hardly keep me from saying no when my heart said “Why ever not?!” However, there’s one thing that would : Him. So, I prayed about it and I asked God what He thought (whether you believe one can hear God is another topic for another blog) and He showed me the obvious or rather the heart of the matter. As a Christian, I don’t believe in having sex before marriage because I am a representation of the bride of Christ in all of her spotless purity coming down the aisle to Jesus in redemptive, gleaming white.
I’m not coming down on the people who don’t claim to be Christians, I’m coming down on us guys. You know why it’s worth it to wait: because He’s worth it. Whenever I hear an apologetic sermon on morality or even the lazy/ half minded effort of getting to know God, I feel physical pain. I love Him. I love Jesus. There are no words for what it’s like to be with Him because, He’s everything and being with Him is the best feeling in the world. Oh, if only I could get more people to see that, to know that. Take the woman at the well for example (John 4 if you haven’t read it). Here is a woman who has been married five times and is living with a guy. I’m just going to read into this here and assume that since at that time divorce was not the thing, she may have at least lived with the last guy out of love. Let’s be honest, this woman knew what sex was about but she was still thirsty. Do you know that kind of thirst? I sure do. It’s that deep down ache that says no matter what I do or who I fall in love with or what I fill my life with, I’m not full I’m never full. So, there she is, inadvertently sitting face to face with the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of Her. And He looks deep into her eyes and says He’s got the answer to this water problem. He knows where she can get water that is so fulfilling she won’t need to drink again. Sounds like a good deal, right? Perhaps the modern day equivalent would be those weight loss pills on the infomercials you see at three in the morning while downing Haagan Das that claim you can go to bed at 250 and wake up at
However looking into those deep chocolate eyes that just….got her, she knew
that this was the real deal. “Show me” she says and with a smile He tells her
not about who He is but about who she is. That’s the funny thing about God.
When you meet Him you at last see yourself in a mirror with absolute clarity.
And then He tells her the water He’ll give her will lead to everlasting life.
Life. She’d seen some of life but she knew that this was a different kind of
life than she’d ever seen or known. The rest of the story is lovely but I’ll
let you read it for yourself.
You see, I am starting to believe that Jesus actually cares about me and that He cares about what I do down to the last detail (He’s helped me find my keys more than once I’ll tell you that!). I am in a relationship with Jesus. I’ve never known true happiness except with Him but oh the depths of happiness we’ve known together! When He stepped into my life, the game changed. My life wasn’t my own anymore and some days that’s not easy and some decisions like whether or not I sleep with a guy, are not always easy and are oftentimes contrary to my emotions. But He’s worth it. If you get anything out of this I hope you catch a glimmer of that. There is no romance, no kiss, no moment that comes close to the indescribable ecstasy of being close to Him. I’ll bet they never told you that in Sunday School ;). We’ll I’m telling you now. Those words spoken quietly to a very broken woman at a dingy old well still ring true to this day “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again but whoever drinks the water I will give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”